The Road to 50 - Week 3

Endurance Isn't About Pushing Harder. It's About Staying Present Longer.

There was a moment during the San Juan 50 Miler when I honestly wasn't sure.

Not because my legs had given out. Not because I was injured. But because my mind had started telling a story that my body wasn't experiencing.

It happened around Mile 23.

I was deep into the second major climb of the day—a relentless six-mile ascent that gained nearly 4,800 feet before topping out at 13,383 feet. The air was thinner. The trail became steeper. The finish line still felt impossibly far away.  And then it hit me. I'm not even halfway.

Almost instantly, my mind went to work. Am I really ready for this? Did I train enough? This course is way harder than I expected. What happens if I don't finish?  It was amazing how quickly one thought became ten. Then twenty. Then a hundred. The pressure wasn't coming from the mountain anymore. It was coming from my own mind.

What's interesting is this:

When I stopped and honestly checked in with myself...I realized something surprising. Physically, I actually felt pretty good. Sure, I was working hard. The climb was demanding. My legs were tired. But the panic I was feeling wasn't coming from my body. It was coming from everything my mind had projected into the future. I wasn't struggling because of the step I was taking. I was struggling because of all the steps I hadn't taken yet.  Overwhelmed by a future that had even happened yet.

So I made a decision.

I brought myself back to where my feet were. On that trail, on that climb, on that mountain.  One step. One breath. One switchback at a time. I looked up and noticed the amazing San Juan mountains surrounding me like an amphitheater. I was right where I wanted to be, even in the struggle.  I then began to notice runners around me who looked like they could use a smile or a few encouraging words. I remembered why I had signed up for this race in the first place.  

The struggle was real, and I was fully in it. However, at that moment, something shifted. The pressure lifted. Not because the climb became easier. It didn't. Let's be honest...It was still hard as hell. The altitude didn't change, it only got higher. The grade didn't soften, it only got steeper. The miles ahead of me didn't disappear.

But my relationship with the struggle changed.

Instead of trying to escape it, I became willing to experience it. To feel it without connecting an emotion to it.  I stopped asking, "How do I get through this?" And started asking, "How do I stay here?"  “How do I feel deeper?”  “How can I lift up others who are feeling this same struggle?”

That may be the greatest lesson endurance sports have ever taught me. Endurance isn't about pushing harder. It's about staying present longer. The struggle wasn't the problem. My mind was the problem. It was my mind trying to eject from the present moment. Words from a dear friend never became more true, “Struggle Well.” (Thank you Shawn!)

I've realized leadership often works exactly the same way. How often do we create stress over hard conversations we haven't had? Projects that haven't happened? Decisions we haven't made? Challenges that haven't arrived? Our minds sprint miles ahead while our feet are still standing at Mile 23. The future begins to feel so heavy that we lose the ability to lead in the present. And when that happens, we don't just lose our peace. We lose our influence and our connection to those we lead.  Because leadership is always exercised in the present moment. Not next week. Not next quarter. Right now.  Struggle is simply part of the process.

One of the foundations of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. It's the ability to notice what's happening inside us before it controls what happens through us. That's what happened on that mountain. I recognized that my greatest obstacle wasn't the climb. It was the story I was telling myself about the climb in the midst of the struggle. Once I noticed it, I had a choice. And this choice was purely up to me. Return to the present and dig in. Or continue dreaming up a future that didn't exist yet and only making the struggle feel impossible.

As I kept climbing, another thought hit me. If I couldn't learn to be present at Mile 23...How was I going to handle Mile 33 (still 10 miles away), Mile 40, or Mile 45?  As many of you know, the struggle only gets harder in endurance sports.

The mountains weren't asking me to become tougher. They were asking me to become more present. Because presence doesn't remove struggle. It transforms how we experience it.  Being present in the struggle is where you truly find what you are capable of, down to your very core.

I've carried that lesson home with me. As a husband. As a father. As a friend. As a leader. Life doesn't become easier because we're present. But presence keeps us from adding tomorrow's weight to today's responsibility or opportunity. It reminds us that we can only Lead...Love...Serve...and Grow in the moment we're actually living.  

Reflection for you

Where is your mind living today?

Is it replaying yesterday?

Is it worrying about tomorrow?

Or is it fully present for the people and the opportunities right in front of you?  Who needs an encouraging word from you?  Who needs a smile or a kind gesture?  What is one small step you can take today to be fully present in the moment you are needed most?

Your Next Step

The next time you feel overwhelmed, pause. Take one slow breath.

Ask yourself one simple question: "What is true at this moment?"  “What is needed from me at this very moment?”  “When I look back on this moment a month from now, how would my best self manage this moment?”

Then take the next step. Not the next ten. Just the next one.

Because endurance—in leadership and in life—isn't about pushing harder. It's about staying present longer.